This is actually the way I've been improving the quickest with everything related to my startup: fail fast, and let embarrassment drive improvement. More on that later.
First, the bad pitch video:
The feedback I got via my blog, Twitter, and 2 Startup Groups on Facebook told me how bad it was, even though I worked 5 hours on it and thought it showed off Refynr.com pretty well (shows what I know) -
- "Useful service. I'm falling asleep watching this. This should be max 1 min. Hopefully less."
- "I really like the idea as well; but, as [Anonymous] said, it just needs to be shorter. I think I read somewhere that people have like a 3-minute attention span for videos."
- "You are coming over like you don't believe people will buy into your pitch..."
- "Recently pitching to a lot of investors, I suggest your first sentence or two just says why they should care for refynr..."
- "Your goal for the pitch is for the investor to want to know more. Let the investor download Refynr himself and discover how useful it might be. Tell them the problem, explain why it's a problem and focus on how large the market is for the opportunity... Leave the guy excited about the opportunity and wanting to know more. If you want some help let me know, I've pitched VC's before."
- "I would say that this video needs to be less than 2 minutes, preferably in the 1:30 - 1:45 minute range. People's attention spans are just about that length."
- "I know that you think that you are not a dynamic speaker, but your passion does show through..."
- "First of all - your tone is that of a monotone. That's what my husband said, listening to your presentation. Not only that, you have one expression throughout - you need to look more enthusiastic. I don't mean jumping out of the chair, but smile more, for instance."
- "Ditch the office background - it's distracting and competes with what you're demoing. Tighten up your script so you don't look like you're stumbling around. " (the clutter in the background gave me an idea for the second video)
- "You are a developer and have a great product. The presentation is nothing nice :) I would recommend getting someone else to do this for you. One of the first things we NEED to do as a start up is recognize our weakness.. You have built a great product and now it's time to pass the torch so you don't miss out. the presentation does NOT match the quality of the app."
- "...you do need to be more "alert". You want them to get your excitement over this product."
- "I think you need to start with a passionate elevator pitch for your product for maybe the first two minutes covering the points here: http://www.startupnation.c om/pages/contact/elevator_pitch.asp"
- "Aaron, ditch the disclaimers [I'm obviously a nerdy introvert, bootstrapping & solo, so this is not my strong point.], as they are a distraction from allowing us to focus on learning about you and your great contribution. Same holds true for your pitch. Break it down into 3 more succinct categories: 1. PROBLEM - Twitter Blows, Unstructured; 2. SOLUTION - Refynr Makes Twitter Your 'B+tch'... and not the other way around; 3. INSTRUCTIONS - Try to deliver your instructions within 10 seconds. This may sound daunting, but the goal is to get us to think the following -- you have created something that we want to use and it can be seamlessly integrated into our lives. Draw inspiration from the definition of refined [with impurities or unwanted elements having been removed by processing] to come up with a clever one-liner that explains Refynr."
Now, the much improved video:
The new video could still be more polished and professional, could be shorter, etc. But it's way better than the first one, and I'm quitting while I'm ahead for now. It wasn't scripted because I tried that and it always came off as *fake*. It's my best foot forward for now, but I'll revise it if I get inspired again.But the main point here is that when you have a challenge in your start-up that you don't know how to solve yourself, just do something the best you know how, put it out there and get honest feedback. Tell people you want to the brutal truth, and they will give it to you. Check your ego at the door, which is hard to do 100%, but mainly just really listen, respond, and make the effort to improve. There's no point defending yourself, because you wouldn't be asking if you knew the best way in the first place, right? This doesn't just work for videos and your pitch, but also:
- your minimum viable product (MVP) - just put the earliest Alpha possible out there and get real feedback
- logo design
- home page design
- your tag line / catch phrase
- demo
- feature priorities
- any more?
